I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
