Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
