id be glad to
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
