Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
