Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you traded sex for a burrito?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
