I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
