if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
