the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
