Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize