dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
