Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
