How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
