you mean i was at the winter classic?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
