his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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