Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
please come you make the beer taste better
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
