He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
