i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
