I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
