Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
