Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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