adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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