The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
