please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
