Your tits are I can't wait for
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
