i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
