Got a toothbrush?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
