By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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