You just made me feel so damn special
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
