I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I would fuck him just for his dog
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
