There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
