the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
