I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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