Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize