She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Help me help you realize you are a moron
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize