Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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