About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
