just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dicks are not precious.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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