I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Congratulations! We have a period
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
