there's paper in my vomit.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
