Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
