I just pynch a tree in the face
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
