you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
