He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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