she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
