my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
