and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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