Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
