He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
