Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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