its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
